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Gestation

by Julz Evans

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  • Record/Vinyl + Digital Album

    A moment in time. This unique 150g vinyl pressing is a capture of change, and a tribute to the trans community. We are expected to not only rearrange ourselves to suit a public idea of how we should be, but to change instantly.

    Julz Evans began recording this collection of 5 songs shortly after starting hormone replacement therapy/testosterone. His vocals for each song were recorded periodically to show the deepening of his voice on T.

    The EP (recorded at Love Shack Studios, Footscray) is largely a folk composition, written on acoustic guitar and featuring the usual band instruments plus cello, violins, rich harmonies and an accordion as things start getting darker.


    Vocal recordings from:

    Social Cues - August 2016
    Coming to a Head - December 2016
    To the Grave - May 2017
    Sun on my Back - August 2017
    Crying on Take-Off (feat Jade Stevens) - November 2017

    Includes unlimited streaming of Gestation via the free Bandcamp app, plus high-quality download in MP3, FLAC and more.
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    ships out within 90 days
    Purchasable with gift card

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1.
Social Cues 02:51
I've been missing them social cues again I've been busy wishing I was who I used to be But I'll be back, I'm not missing home I just need some time on my I knew so much more then, I did so much more Then I just hit a wall, now I'm nothing at all And I was hoping I could cope with all the stones they'd throw at me Just a little bit better I've been missing them social cues again I've been busy wishing I was who I used to be But I'll be back, I'm not missing home I just need some time on my own Well I've been hiding, I like to call it driving Through the misting mornings, where have I gone? And the fog is like the blanket that's been pressing down on me For a little too long Chorus I know x5 It's coming back around, uh-oh I know x5 I'm coming back to town Chorus
2.
I'm ready when you are You know I'm nervous as hell Suddenly I have so much more energy I know you do as Well, on second thoughts I'm tired of feeling stuck x2 This is all coming to a head What's say we lay this lie to bed And I need to rest my weary eyes but I can't seem to Sing myself to sleep It's that ugly time of year again Not knowing is killing me Make me a paper crane When I see its buoyancy I'll breathe easy Easier said than done I'm walking on sea legs x2 Chorus This is all coming to a head x6 Chorus
3.
To the Grave 04:02
There once was a stranger who became a lover Who pulled on my heart strings Then she pulled me down toward the sound A whisper of danger, a distant shadow She showed me pictures From her peppered past of broken glass Of speeding cars, of missing parts We fell deep into the dark I bit my tongue so hard it blistered Sickness locked away I put the paintbrush in her hand But I couldn't make her paint A fear of forgetting (anyone or anything) A fear of loving (with my whole heart) Of disappearing Into present tense (no future) On the fence (no stories) To second guess (I wonder) Is this mess really the best? I bit my tongue so hard it blistered Sickness locked away I put the paintbrush in her hand But I couldn't make her paint I ripped apart all that was mine Chasing her in flight Broken dead weight I bit my tongue so hard it blistered Sickness locked away (in an instant) I put the paintbrush in her hand But I couldn't make her paint I ripped apart all that was mine Chasing her in flight Broken dead weight It's unspoken, I'll take that secret to the grave
4.
I'm en route to a heart exhibition Wish I could lose the nerves A jack of diamonds, a master of none Maybe this is what I deserve The memories come up like a sea of savage waves Pushing vivid scenes down to my shaking hands And can you teach me not to grind my teeth? I can barely roll into bed again There must be something better than Waiting for new dreams to find me I got the sun on my back and wind in my hair You don't miss much but you missed me there Ain't no time like the present This isn't new, my pedestrian story An ambiguous tale that makes me sick A jack of patience gestating in secret A master of one And maybe when I done I'll find the strength to move that big red brick Chorus When someone tells you not to worry When someone asks if you're okay Well maybe you're not But sometimes you just need to slow down I've never heard a clock tick so loud as right now Chorus Got a knife in my back, and nothing to wear You're playing your games but I don't care Ain't no time like the present
5.
It's not that I was sad to leave I don't think we had a choice That whole night I couldn't breathe I didn't recognise my voice But it was life and death And you had to do it one more time before we left Now every time I fly I can't open my eyes I'm carried by a sinking feeling When we walked onto the plane Well I thought I had you saved I thought you'd die if stayed there I didn't understand the game I think I did my best And what would've happened next is anybody's guess Now every time I fly I can't open my eyes I'm carried by a sinking feeling And when I see the skyline It's then I start to cry I remember seeing Perth disappear so clearly A flash of worry across your face Could you really hold the fort? I saw your whole body shaking Were you having second thoughts? My lungs were in your hands We can talk about all this later when we land I found you in a hopeless place You were my blanket paperweight I didn't even hesitate But we are past our dancing days You fixed a fucking mess If I had to give a grade I'd say you passed the test

about

A moment in time. Gestation is a capture of change, and a tribute to the trans community. We are expected to not only rearrange ourselves to suit a public idea of how we should be, but to change instantly.

Julz Evans began recording this collection of 5 songs shortly after starting hormone replacement therapy/testosterone. His vocals for each song were recorded periodically to show the deepening of his voice on T.

The EP (recorded at Love Shack Studios, Footscray) is largely a folk composition, written on acoustic guitar and featuring the usual band instruments plus cello, violins, rich harmonies and an accordion as things start getting darker.


Vocal recordings from:

Social Cues - August 2016
Coming to a Head - December 2016
To the Grave - May 2017
Sun on my Back - August 2017
Crying on Take-Off (feat Jade Stevens) - November 2017

credits

released November 20, 2022

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Julz Evans Melbourne, Australia

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